How to Understand Your Nature

What factors led to where I am now, so I can move forward or end it?

The psychological aspects of the female psyche are downstream from biology. We’ll discuss the biological nuts and bolts of female nature. When we examine nature, we must also talk about nurture. But the Nature vs. Nurture debate was settled two decades ago. The four laws of behavioral genetics have made this debate all but concluded – nature wins. Nature vs. Nurture is one of these sacred cows we cling to as a society because it locks into the hopeful fiction of the Blank Slate. The idea that we’re all born equal and that societal influences make us what we are dovetails nicely into a female-centric society based on egalitarianism. The concept of identity and how we arrive at it are a product of social stressors and how an individual builds a personality around coping with them. Everyone is a blank slate, and social constructionism works in tandem to perpetuate a noble lie. Our genes have far more to do with who (and what) we are than subjective social influences.

The Blank Slate was a popular meme because it ostensibly promoted the ideal of equal worth. The Blank Slate was the sweetheart philosophy leftists and conservative mindsets could agree on. For liberals, it was about equal opportunities in an egalitarian utopia, while for conservatives, it fit nicely with the concept of free will and personal responsibility. Societies were built on this Enlightenment Era ideal. Then came the plotting of the human genome and all the interesting details that wiped away the Blank Slate in one fell swoop. Nature vs. Nurture was finally settled, but nobody got the memo.

All men are created equal is a noble fiction. It’s literally written into the US Constitution and is a guiding principle for our social fabric. But just because our personalities and proclivities are essentially the products of our biology doesn’t mean we give up the vision of our betterment in exchange for reductionism. Resigning ourselves to inaction because of biological determinism is a form of sedation.

If you’ve been listening to me on podcasts or reading me for some time, you know I’m a nuts-and-bolts guy. When it comes to human nature, whether it's male nature or female, it's not enough for a guy like me to put the key in the ignition and for the car to work. I have to get under the hood, tear the thing apart, and put it back together again so I understand all the intricacies of the car. I approach male and female nature, human nature in general, from the same perspective. It's not enough to know that certain things work. It is important to understand why they work and what’s upstream and downstream from a particular dynamic.

I’ve had guys ask me, “Rollo, why do women lie all the time?” or “How do I get my girlfriend back?” They'll face some problems and only look at them from one point in the time stream. They're not looking at it like what could be the future.

How can I turn the boat around?

How did I find myself in this situation in the first place?

What factors led to where I am now, so I can move forward or end it?